Don’t Let the In-Laws Learn of your Erectile Dysfunction! Get Generic Viagra Now!

I realize that every man has his horror stories about his mother-in-law. Stories that will make your hair-but not necessarily your penis!-stand on end. Let's just say it's not a very arousing topic. And the problems really begin when your dear in-law begins meddling with your love life, and even prescribing Generic Viagra for your inability to keep her precious daughter sexually satisfied. It all started on my wedding night, when she called our honeymoon suite in Hawaii to "check on us young folks," and see if I was "slipping her the eight-inch wonder." Her voice is so loud I could hear it coming out of the receiver, as she spoke to my wife, then began talking about how her Earl needed Generic Viagra these days to keep her "regular." Finally my wife hung up. I had almost-almost-lost my erection, I was so angry. "What the hell was that, honey?! What the hell is she talking about? ‘Keeping her regular'? Is she talking about sex, or bowel movements? And since when did you share my measurements with her? Do I measure up to your old man, honey? I can't believe I'm spending my honeymoon with my mother-in-law! What, is room service going to bring up some Generic Viagra and champagne now? What's next?"

I guess I lost it a bit. Luckily, back in those days, I didn't need any Generic Viagra, so even after this tirade, my one-eyed monster was hard as Hercules; so I forgot about Beulah, my infamous mother in law, and resumed pounding my wife like one of those post-hole drillers you use to erect fences. Her wet, pure, virgin-well, not quite virgin-soil enveloped me like red Alabama clay; I probed more and more deeply, until at last, I struck her molten core, and felt her lava gushing around me. That's the way things used to be, until I needed Generic Viagra. Between the stress of work, and lack of sleep, and the wear and tear of age, my Big Unit had lost some of the zip on its fastball, to put it mildly. Of course, Beulah's interference and ridiculous sex tips didn't help any. The honeymoon incident was just the tip of the iceberg. She'd call every once in a while, just around bedtime, when I'm sure she assumed we'd be doing it-or not doing it, which was her greatest fear for her daughter. She was sure I needed Generic Viagra even before I married her girl, when I was freaking twenty-five years old, and ready to bang anything that moved!

So, as the years passed, and my wife began complaining to her that I really did need some Generic Viagra, she'd begin sharing not only her favorite erectile dysfunction medication, which she mixed liberally with her husband's dinner (which I'm sure was a mixture of dog food and noodles), but also her favorite sex tips and the positions that "got her off," especially with Generic Viagra. One time she drove up and started in with a new sex tip: "Let me tell you about a position that always made me randy, young man. When Old Earl was younger, I used to straddle him like a see-saw on the playground, and then..." I stopped her right there. "That's enough, Beulah, dear. I appreciate all your help. But I know how to pleasure your daughter; I'm into tantric sex. I've revealed new dimensions of space and time to your sweetie. Where we're going, we don't need roads... So get in your car and drive back home, and stay out of our bed!" With that, I slammed the door in her face; and an hour or so after taking Generic Viagra, I was helping my wife attain Nirvana.