Waiting for an Eruption with Generic Viagra

I've got a Generic Viagra story that takes place in the great outdoors. America the Beautiful, as the song goes. From sea to shining sea, right? Well, not too long ago, I made the mistake of taking my wife to Yellowstone National Park out west, to see the glories of nature- purple mountains' majesty, towering trees... basically, we were surrounded by giant phallic symbols. And it didn't take much to arouse her imagination, since it'd been some time already since I'd been able to arouse her. I had been considering some Generic Viagra, but I'll admit, I was reluctant to throw in the towel as a man. That was how I saw it. Because my manhood used to be the 8th wonder of the world- I often referred to it as the "Colossus of Rhodes." But lately, its mighty pediment was crumbling, threatening the entire structure with total collapse. I wasn't getting the blood flow I needed to continue towering above the landscape. But still, I procrastinated when it came to ordering my Generic Viagra.

So, in the days before I had bought Generic Viagra, we go to Yellowstone, and wait around watching Old Faithful, waiting for it to work its magic. Old Faithful, in case you forgot, is the famous geyser that blasts a huge load of steaming white water into the sky every 90 minutes or so. It's like clockwork, or at least, it used to be. They say the intervals have been getting longer and longer in recent years. Something about seismic activity affecting the subterranean water levels, or so the park ranger said. It goes without saying that my wife and I were witnessing the biggest metaphor for my sexual dysfunction that one could possibly imagine; I felt like I was in an advertisement for Generic Viagra. Because, when it finally did erupt, spewing hot white liquid and clouds of steam skyward, my wife gasped, and looked at me as if to say: "I expect something comparable from you in the cabin tonight."

Well, she didn't get it, because I didn't have any Generic Viagra to take. Once again I crawled into bed, like a man would crawl onto the scaffold- filled with shame, and fear, and a wish just to get it all over with. Once again, nothing happened. Old Faithful lay there against my stomach like an idle fire hose, unable to put out her fire. She did everything she could to rouse it- started talking dirty about national landmarks and precious wetlands, pulled on it, poked at it, talked to it. But not a sign of life- it just rolled over onto its other side, like some lazy, stinky wino on a sidewalk, wallowing in his filth. What did she expect, with no Generic Viagra? I decided then and there, as she taunted my manmeat, that I wasn't waiting any longer. I ordered some Generic Viagra that very night. I was a desperate man, and Generic Viagra was my last resort.

The next week, my shipment of Generic Viagra arrived. Not by accident, I had booked another cabin getaway for that weekend, and I drove my wife there, slipping some Generic Viagra into my mouth during a pit stop on the way. I was hard by the time we pulled up to the cabin; fumbling with the keys, I managed to open the door, unzipped my pants, pulled up her dress, and gave it to her against the wall of the hallway. I had to taste her right away- I was too impatient to undress. Eventually, though, we made it to the bed, and I gave it to her a bit more slowly- deep, profound drilling. I felt her hot lava pouring out around my diamond-tipped drill bit, heating its contents to the boiling point. With Generic Viagra's help, I was able to trigger several seismic events. "Old Faithful's about to blow!" she said, after a couple of hours. "Right on time," I said, and shed my grace on her, above her fruited plain.