It's me, William the Conqueror, or, as I'm now being called in Greece, Erekticles, the man of many devices. We're more than a week into our Generic Viagra inspired tour of Europe; for our silver anniversary, I've taken my gray-eyed sex vixen of a wife through France, Germany, and Italy. During that time, with the help of Generic Viagra, I've treated her body like a canvas in Paris, covering it with impressionistic compositions in white; I've fed her some Bavarian sausage in Germany; and I've proven my mettle as a gladiator in Rome. After all of these adventures, we headed off for Greece-and, as my loyal readers know, I gave it to her in epic Homeric verse in the cabin of our Adriatic cruise ship, before we'd even made it to Greece. Generic Viagra had turned me into a wild man-or, more accurately, it had allowed me to become once again the man I always had been, even back in college-with rock-hard erections that could go the distance, in time and in space! My erectile dysfunction medication allowed me to respond to my wife naturally-to get aroused and to get her off whenever we wanted.
On the first morning of our Athens adventure, we headed for a tour of the Acropolis, whose mighty marbles have inspired poets to go on sex romps for centuries. As usual, I had my stockpile in my fanny-pack... funny, but I suddenly imagined some invention similar to those stupid beer-hats you see people wearing at football games-I could attach some tubing straight from my Generic Viagra laden fanny pack right through a hole in my zipper, so that my hungry little wolverine could scarf down some pills any time he was roused. But of course, I shook off this hallucination and began paying attention to the tour. I began by sharing some tidbits with my wife, based on my fluent knowledge of Ancient Greek. "Did you know, honey, that 'acropolis' literally means "high city," or acre polis? 'Hey polis' is Greek for 'the city.'" "Honey, have you overdosed on that Generic Viagra?" "Funny that the Greek source of the word Parthenon is "parthenos," or maiden-since the Parthenon is dedicated to the maiden Athena. The Greek "parthenos" is one of those rare nouns that is feminine in gender, but masculine in form-so it takes the feminine article 'hey,' not the masculine article, 'ho.'" "Who you callin' ho?" my wife said, in mock anger. "Take some Generic Viagra-I want you to throw me against this rocky cliff and make me feel like a goddess. "Sweetie, you know I love you, but this is just a bit too public. I don't want to pleasure you in a jail cell tonight. Some Greek criminal might end up pleasuring me instead, and I don't want that!"
I ripped the raiments from my Greek goddess and threw her onto the bed, and before I could even take my pants off completely, my spear-toting warrior was encroaching upon her dark underworld. Generic Viagra allowed us to revisit the world of Greek myth. After I'd teased her a bit by rattling my sword just at the mouth of her cavern, she pulled me out and declared that she was Cerberus, the three-headed guardian of those dark realms. And let me tell you-the heady action that followed could have set off a three-alarm fire. I somehow endured the white-hot lashes of her tongue and lips without exploding, and finally pushed her head from me, pushed her back onto the edge of the bed, and plunged headlong into her nether regions. After long wanderings, I emerged once again, and sprayed my Orphic love poetry all over her heaving breasts. Sing in me, muse, of Generic Viagra- of the man of twists and turns, who plundered the hallowed heights of Troy.
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